Spiral Cycle

…or so I am avoiding. Poorly.

Last week was a difficult 1 for me. Maybe 1 of my worst. Nearly all of Eid was spent in hospital and doctor visits. This accounted for the commute, the wait and the final darshan of the doc almighty so to speak. The end was fruitful or so I am made to think of the visit but not of the circumstances overall.

A week ago during a rehearsal for a TV show, my left leg decided to do a horrible remake of my right leg’s episode. The remake was much like Bollywood movies, a crass copy that did not do justice to the original piece. The scene involved me tackling 4 ‘ruffians’ (read my fellow capoeirista boys) with Capoeira manoeuvres: throws and takedowns. It was conceived by my teacher in a matter of minutes as we practiced. At 1^st I thought I wouldn’t be able to make it look authentic enough. But after a bunch of takes I liked being the kick-ass gal. I enjoyed it and loved that THIS would mark my spot. Was gonna bring Abeer to the show. So I savoured the moves and practiced. It was late but we had the studio so we just jumped about and practiced set after set. The last and final take I gave it a lil more than just a practice run and there is where the dislodge and familiar sound defined the next 6 months for me.

I teared up and tried to fight the panic that caught my windpipe almost not letting me breathe. Batizado. Instructorship. Rehab. Restart. Rewind. At the time only 1 thought ran through my mind – I need Abeer. He was in Pune and potentially in a bar or a party. I too was ironically headed to F-Bar post this practice. But the ‘pop’ changed everything. I held up my signature thumbs up (a habit I am trying to break) to my teacher and assured him it was just a sprain and I would be back next day full form for the show. We all left to go home. I got off my station and as an afterthought, headed to the ER of Ambani hospital. Not the wisest thing to do alone but panic wouldn’t let me sleep. I was dismissed with a “The ortho won’t be available today” while another cited a long wait. Exactly how that ER and trauma works, I don’t know.

I didn’t sleep a wink. I was desperate to call Abeer. But I knew that I didn’t wanna trouble him mid-night. It was 1am and yet I contemplated if I should call my boyfriend. The next morning thankfully he contacted me with the best news ever – he was already home and back in town contrary to the earlier planned late evening. He came with me to the ER and the multiple visits after an X-ray and MRI scan. Who better than him to understand me – a sportsman himself and having injured himself. He pushed me around in a wheelchair and played in the hospital. Eased my nerves and was the ultimate of what I expected of him. I was safe.

Nothing prepared me for Dr. Dinshaw Pardiwala’s appointment (reknowned sports medicine and Ortho surgeon). Mum stubbornly refused any other surgeon to work on me. I say power of the mother as she managed to slide me into Dr. P’s schedule and get him to look at me. The consultancy was an eye opener. Mum went into her barrage of bad diet, stress, being a woman, age and that subtle way in which she wanted to blame Capoeira. I picked up on the cue and asked the doc when will I be back in full form. 6 months. Pat came the reply. I sunk in my chair. Same ol’ answer. Surgery was the only option for me given the extent of damage. Then he went on to bust certain practices of women athletes practicing during their menstrual cycle. The surging hormones, which wreck havoc on not just the tear-tap but the muscles making us sore and painful to touch. The muscles are vulnerable to wear and tear at a higher risk and intensity. Hence, thinking you are a tough cookie and working out against the pain is not the wisest habit to keep. Another one was about the structure of the bone base. A narrow base is usually seen in women and high impact workouts or movement cause the narrowness to wear out the ligament or a new graft. Hence, a reconstruction of the bone base was in order. Manufacturing defect is what I thought.

We left and I was tired. The leg hurt and the 4hr wait didn’t help. I wanted a hug. From Abeer. That place in his shoulder where I would bury my anger, anguish and had even celebrated some good moments. I missed meeting his mum for Eid; something I really wanted to prioritize that day and it not happening added to my list of upsets. I only called and messaged him. Updated him on every detail. Even though I was with family, I behaved like I was with guardians and was contacting my real family. He promised to return the next day and that eased me. The surgery date was fixed and costs were worked out. Mum and dad were quiet almost afraid that anything they would say wouldn’t sit well with me. I hadn’t said much all day and they wished I made some sound. I signed the OR like 1 books a hall for a wedding. The costs made a tight knot in my stomach. I had just quit and had no income. I had so many plans and surprises lined up. Now I couldn’t consider them. I had plans with Abeer too. And some would have to wait.

But above all concerns was the fear the surgery had set in my head. I remember the cold OR last time and the strangers around me and the needles and the scalpels. I remember the fear and last ounce of consciousness before they sliced into me. Fix me. Nothing could fix the fear Round II. And nothing prepares you for the post-operative pain. I can’t forget even though I try to. It was terrifying and excruciating. Abeer could get me through it. He had a knack for making a joke out of everything (some of those times were NOT funny). I knew hospitals made him queasy and brought back some haunting memories. So I figured that as I parallelly lay in the comfort of knowing he would be there, I was also contemplating sending him off for the duration of this hospital stint. I guess THIS was the way my mother would get to meet him. I just had the work week left to look forward to.

We will get through it. He said. I believed. He made me feel it. I felt it. What was constant pain suddenly turned into pulses of pain; like he had let in a saline of painkiller. Then it eased as I spent a lazy afternoon in his arms, in my favourite place. 

........ to B & TdC 2012

Batizado (baptism)

“The Batizado welcomes new students into the school and strengthens community bonds as recognized and nurtured by M. Bimba. Students are baptized by the floor i.e. that is, they play against higher level capoeiristas and are subsequently taken down by a rasteira to signify a continual process of humility and improvement in the game."

Troca de Cordão (exchange of the cords – belts)

“The changing of the cords signifies the level of a capoeirista. Some capoeiristas will receive a new corda before or after a game played against a Mestre in which they have to show their advancement and earn the right to wear the new corda.”

The Batizado is the most anticipated event/ experience of the year; a combination of graduation + prom night + annual day. New students are excited and the older experienced ones anticipate something new and feel a sense of pride and joy moving on to the next level. It’s a day that demonstrates and acknowledges one’s hard work, perseverance, blood, sweat, tears of joy and possibly some nicks and cuts and, most of all, a sense of accomplishment for that time period. I am still a novice in the universe of capoeira i.e. I’m 2 Batizados old so I have, thus far, experienced 1 year as a newbie and 1 year as an experienced student. Now is my time to move levels up.

There is a lot to experience and gain from the weeks we spend together as a group and with our guests. This year we have expanded to many centres with our line-up of senior instrictors. The tree is growing branches and leaves with each leaf being represented by us – the students. This batizado will marks 6 long eventful years of Capoeira India, it will include students of our Master Reza ‘Baba’ Massah and students of our Sr. instructors, it will include 2 weeks of absolute high energy, talents, workshops, music, festa, the planning and THE EVENT itself.

Apart from the obvious, we become 1 large albeit loud, chaotic, moody, funny, crazy and high on axe familia. We learn so much about 1 another from just spending time or taking charge of certain responsibilities together. The hidden talents and skills make an appearance. There is an almost relaxed to hyper-adrenaline change in the weeks leading to the event. Seniors step up their game and are given independent responsibilities or sole ownership of many crucial points for D-day; here our experiences as students kick in which we emulate as seniors. Our teacher (Baba) serves as a constant guide and support during this time. He is truly a 1 man army probably on an entire plant of Gurana‑ a‑day (you would if you need to deal with us brats). We fight, we play, we work and then we retire for the evening with a chilled bottle of beer and laugh at each other with each other at what we did and what was left out. These stories remain with us until we create new ones the following year to replace the old ones.

The main day is an unbelievable experience. It has its share of high octane energy and peaks and valleys just like any event or show does. But the difference is that where we would have 1 pair of hands, 50 more show up to help you iron out the creases. The Batizado is conducted as a planned and choreographed show (apart from the rodas) with a few impromptu modifications. But the beauty is that we are all soooo well versed that there is just no glitch and we blend in. ‘Tis true when we say “Just bring your energy.” Really that’s all that matters. When you are so happy and going through such a rush, the audience hardly ever realizes what happened behind the scene. They are already wowed by us. Another notable feeling I go through is quite similar to the 1 I experienced during my school sports and annual days. Your family comes beaming with pride and wondering what all are you going to perform. We turn into little children asking them to spot us and make sure to take the signature pictures for keepsake. Family dynamics never change. Each ‘kid’ will always be ‘the star’. The rush during the Batizado also changes your game and your experience as a capoeirista. You will go through waves of excitement, a moment of humility in games where you have been taken down, moments of exhaustion followed by a split second change to absolute axe, moments of trance where you are sucked in by the bateria and their resounding music. The songs sound different and even your body feels different. You invariably try new moves, moves you saw, moves you dared never try or thought you just couldn’t do it. Your perspective and understanding of capoeira or the people in your capoeira family changes; however slight. It’s a journey that’s just started. Sometimes even playing a game in a new venue, new floor, new people with many others watching, changes you. It’s a learning cuz this brings you out of your comfort zone of playing within your circle of friends and in your class where you train.

There will be some hilarious moments created by either you or your friend. Either way, we have enough to carry forward to the weekend and discuss them to stomach crunching laughter. The weekend away is the 1 time EVERYONE makes it. Everyone plans and pours over their calendars to accommodate these special days and not miss out. Sure, we have had our parties and outings but nothing beats having 40-50+ odd people from everywhere living, eating, dancing, singing, laughing etc. all capoeira. And if there is a swimming pool or a beach… eeevveeennn better J. A detailed analysis of the JUST CONCLUDED event will happen and planning for the 7^th Annual Batizado e Troca de Cordao will begin…

Welcome to 6^th Annual Batizado e Troca de Cordão. Love and Axe

Batizado 2010

I have to begin by saying I am envious of the Batizados’ I missed but I am grateful for the milestones I am about to cover from here on as a permanent fixture of CDO India which has grown on me like oxygen n food n beer n forro n atabaque n music n roda… everything. I went from a completely unknown and awkward entity at the Khar class to someone people had confidence in and accepted soon enough. My 1st Batizado feeling transitioned from an ‘oh alright a belt ceremony’ to ‘dear lord I have soooo much to do’.

It was last year 2010. Baba started warming us up to having I. Pinoquio, CM Cueca and M. Esquilo for our workshops. He spoke very fondly of Pinoquio as an extraordinary capoeirista, energetic and like a fireball with incredible experience since he joined capoeira at a young age; CM Cueca as his teacher, someone he looked up to and was very honored to have here with us. Honestly I don’t recall much about M. Esquilo but a safe bet would be Saci Lua Cheia (walking encyclopedia on M. Esquilo). Khar class immediately became an overcrowded venue. I was a bit annoyed at 1st at seeing so many people just loitering about taking up space but soon enough the tempo was set. Cabeca (Parikshit) was introduced to us as the Bimba sequence instructor (I laugh now because finally I know the meaning of Bimba). He always called out to us “All my Bimbas come here”… a joke he enjoyed secretly until our ‘early’ realization. I have to say my 1st impression of Cabeca was ‘very strict’. He had an air of authority about him but someone who had incredible knowledge on capoeira. Not only did he patiently teach us each and every one of the 8 sequences he went on to explain the nuances of WHY a kick comes from the left or right, why that esquiva and why a move here and there. He timed us, grilled us, drilled us, killed us… I loved it. We met outside in the park on off days to practice the 8 sequences in pitch darkness but Cabeca made it a point to be there whether it was 1 of us or all 8-10 pairs. There was a sense of friendly competition as we stayed glued to our partners and wanted to excel. Danceira :D was my partner and we practiced in her compound, on the club house roof, in the club house and everywhere. Apart from the Bimba sequences there were other groups of Bimba throws and Bimba take downs involving advanced students. Everyone trained intensely through November and December. I met many of the old students and bonded with them. It’s incredible how ‘at home’ you feel once you walk through the doors even after a prolonged absence.

The classes got more intense and pushed us to the limit. This was the time when I experienced my breath giving out and limbs and body parts aching that I probably hadn’t pushed earlier. But it was all incredible. Afro and maculele was taken by Diamante and Espaguete and we had a super fun time. Music – this was the time when you couldn’t hide in the background and just clap pretending to not know the words. The music is as much an important part of the roda as all the elements involved. Music provided us the axe, the intensity, the drive and singing loudly and clearly.. getting the lyrics right, trying simpler instruments.

Let me tell you I was not at all prepared for what to expect when the heavyweights of capoeira finally touched down in Mumbai one after the other. They were incredible, their stories, their songs, their fluidity… hell even the ghinga was so diverse. Each workshop at 1st felt very short but once we were into it, we were gasping for air, water and some more learning. The most memorable for me was the class I. Pinoquio took on the ground floor of SS Sahney, the class CM Cueca took at Juhu (Oyster room) and M. Esquilo at our regular Khar venue. Songs that have stuck by me were ‘o si si’ by Pinoquio, ‘Sem dende’ by CM Cueca and ‘capoeira que en si noi´by M. Esquilo. The added bonus was having M. Chicote, Pantera and Armelle with us. It was a huuuggee family and I had forgotten all other elements of my life except capoeira and Batizado. This was the time I even socialized with the group outside of the class and saw an incredibly different side to all the people I now recognized as family. Was no longer awkward or nervous. I was involved in the preparations and everything that I could get my hands on.

Batizado day was amazing. The energy was high and very much in the air. When I see the videos and pictures it seems like days but in reality it felt like blink and miss. Everything just swished by… we rushed through costume changes and face paint and rodas. The most significant and important moment for me was getting my cordao. I remember waiting forever and pushing others to go ahead of me. Didn’t know how that would prolong or make it special. Noone from my family was expected to come so the moment was left to me to be special. I entered and played a lovely game with M. Esquilo. I refused to be taken down…. Ppfffttt arrogance of a beginner. Eventually he did. I just stood there frozen as he smiled ever so widely and tied my cordao. I walked out and felt so…… THAT’S IT. It’s over. My 1st green cordao moment is OVER… ☹ and then someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned to find my father standing there. He had made it. He told me he saw everything from the start and he was proud of me. He would never question why I spent so much time training or such late hours all week. I only remember trying to listen to him between sobs (I didn’t know I was crying). Thereafter it was a rollercoaster. I was sooooo happy. The grand finale of the batizado was grander and soooo much fun. The music the axe was very very high. The party that followed (graciously hosted by Manteiga at Fat Cat Cafe) and all the fun and frolic that remained for days after until they all returned home and the quiet descended on us HEAVILY. As of today its 17 days to that experience again. I will have a new story VERY different from my 1st batizado.