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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

The new 18

I turned 30. Yes I did. It came and went and no wave of panic, agedness or anything hit me. The only thing that perpetually bothered me was the PMS I was trying hard to ignore. Got the better of me on an occasion or 2 and even made me shed tears for trivial matters such as not having a red dress for my big day. But 30 hit no panic buttons. Overnight it did make me feel tad bit wiser (yes it does make you feel so or hits you with an illusion harder than any potent drug I suppose). But here are a few things I realized and put down. Mind you, these are for my own reference when my wits get the better of me considering here on forward ‘ageing’ is the new growing.
-          You are officially considered an adult. Your 20s could be forgiven and all blame could be laid on the growing years. But the big 3 0, just changes everything. There is no one to blame and no situation to salvage you. Period. This wave hit me when my dad wished me at midnight and added “now that you are 32 do something meaningful with your life and please find the time to settle down as well”. And what did I reply? “Errrr… Papa I am only 30” Father attempts to hide a glare :D
-          You take care of you. You are now a responsible adult. Your actions are either totally ignored (rational: he/she is managing his/her life) or really examined under a microscope like a new outbreak of TB strain (rational: to assess how well you’ve been raised and add the occasional ‘tch tch tch’ when the situation goes kaput)
-          Now there will be wider and more stronger speculation of my marital status ‘30 and unmarried’. It’s already begun FYI.
-          30 makes you question your health, your life, your choices, etc. even though eeevveeryythhing could be running super smooth.
-          For some strange reason financial planning and investments have made a tiny cornerstone in my mind. I hate finance except when it’s flooding my account and continues to flood J P.S. I am hoping the 30s make them flood rather than trickle. But it’s really comforting to have an independence and liberty where you depend on no one and expect nothing. Swiping your card for a not-needed dress or an exorbitant food/wine experience without having to answer to anyone is so empowering (this involves convincing yourself with the disclaimer “You only live once”)
-          I have begun to look at the same people differently. Somebody I would usually avoid or ignore, I now feel like comforting them under my wing. Seriously had to slap myself awake from that delusion.
-          I am FINALLY comfortable starting a sentence with “this generation ahead of us….” *Phew… breathe breathe…* That’s cuz most of them are radically useless and I seriously question their role in contributing to the average IQ of a human being. Case in point: when I ran into a swarm of these creatures at the Sunburn Arena for the recently much hyped DeadMau5 concert. Both Abeer and I including a rare few of our mental breed looked like we were attacked by these creatures. That was a close shave…  
-          There is more comfort and acceptability of one’s self the way they are – shape, size, color, behavior, mentality etc. and then comes the outburst to protect all the above turfs. Damn straight yo. That’s why when a few commented quite cheekily on my weight making it sound like I was the cutest baby on a calendar, I let them in on the fact that I was more fabulous than they think of themselves… Ok this is a bit much. To be fair SATC had played recently and the ego and the over use of the term ‘fabulous’ took me to another level. I am now safely down back to earth and groveling in the mud to lose the excess baggage.
-          I realized that my battle with weight had hit a new note in my head. Although I was blessed with a man who simply adored my curves and more, I needed to keep a check on them. The curves should not become a full circle. I always knew that I wanted to be fit and age appropriate without seeming too desperate or fighting age by raiding a 16 year old’s wardrobe. Therefore, I designed the perfect regime to get my version of the perfect body. WIP
-          Now this 1s a kicker: As much as every pal I knew was using my bday as an excuse to wish me in advance for an impending engagement and wedding, I maintained that I would not want to ruin the element of surprise for myself. There are something’s just sacred and remembered best when they come least expected. This was 1 of them. Getting married was not a race I wanted to win by coaxing the boyfriend and frightening him into simply occupying my ring finger. It is still a sacred and sacrosanct union I wish for with elements of surprise and the knowledge that it came unprovoked and from a genuinely comfortable and sure heart. So all of you… stop holding your breath this long or I won’t have any invites to send out.
-          The mother knows everything and I have stopped hiding or sugarcoating things. Rational: she can no longer chase me or give me a pasting. Bwahahaha
-          For some really strange reason my liver has decided to cooperate with me when mixing alcohol and having long nights of partying. And I am talking of 9pm to 6am where I am the MOST sober person with 0 hangover issues and all my seasoned pals are nursing the aftereffects. ‘You go girl!’ *talking to the liver*
-          I find my temper receding and my patience level going up 10 notches. Letting go and forgiving comes naturally. Sometimes I’m pissed at myself for having the tolerance and wish to remain angry for a while. Doesn’t work. Crazy…
-          I am constantly looking for intellectual people and experiences. Someone or something who can add more value to my life and more so now. The ‘been-there-done-that’ or ‘trending’ stuff just don’t appeal to me. If the whole world is facing 1 way, I do not seriously mind facing the other way. Something really soothing about that.
-          Dealing with boyfriend and possessiveness issues has an alternate vent. It’s either another ear or another coping mechanism. I find myself letting him be whoever and whatever he is because seriously, 1 can never change people and the same applies to me. You can only try to better yourself for yourself and those you love and it comes purely from self-motivation. I have a few areas I am working on and successfully managed to battle a few in the last few months. Yaaaaay!
-          Going vintage: Now this 1’s a new high I have hit recently. Thanks to my loving and equally encouraging and enthusiastic Abeer, I have been hitting all the old and gold spots of the city and around. The travel and food and living and loving. Very under the radar and KISS (Keeping It Simple Silly). Learning new facts about old things and hitting the classics holds new excitement. Recently took Abeer to my birth place and the building I 1st lived in and shared with my naani. The surrounding neighborhood etc. Realized I was extremely possessive about that spot.
-          I have a cat. A pet. I can afford. And have stories and pictures and anecdotes about. And I love being called the cat lady or the catty lady ;)
-          For the 1st time ever I am enjoying food like I have never enjoyed before. Eating everything under the sun including the butter and cheese and what not and NOT CARING. Realizing that you DO NOT balloon up overnight. But your skin sure does shine and when the mother insists I get my 1st ever facial and the parlor lady retorts her resilience to touch my skin…. Aah bliss.
-          Maternal and nurturing instincts kick in BIIIG time. I seriously look at little creatures (animals and kids) and just wish to take care of them. I always wanna make everything comfortable and perfect for my family and Abeer and my mind wanders only to those elements. It comes very easily with no element of laziness or stinginess. That’s why I guess the Abeer and the Elsa are spoilt and continue to tap dance on my nerves on occasion. Grrrrrrrrrrr
-          As much as your body does you good, it also shows you the effect of hitting an era. Your weight, BMI, BMR, bones, joints, aches, pains, healing, injuries and what not all change clock – usually aiming for slowing down and taking their own sweet time. When a workout would quickly get me back to gear, it takes longer and harder to do the same now. Of course, I’m guilty of having subjected it to some seriously damning wear and tear (the saga of the 2 knees and the shattered tooth). But it’s all in the mind and I am working towards tricking my body into thinking its 16. No seriously… I’m not kidding >-/
-          Cooking and more homely activities not only appeal to me but I take it up like some innovative science project. Jhaadoo and katkaa is the new Indian workout in the morning (don’t forget the svelte figures the maids sport). Cooking is an adventure thanks to international food stores and local banyas. Not to forget all the hottie chefs on TLC and food channels who make it look supremely easy. Besides its good for the boyfriend’s soul *wink*
-          That new checkbox on all forms. I pause before I tick it. Sigh
-          Lastly (I think this is the last 1), I really am glad that I am 30, flirty and thriving. I have more than I can afford or own and I sense contentment. There is nothing I would change. Instead, there is much I would improve rather than just abandoning them and looking for new stories to weave.  
 That's all folks (30+)